Chasing Stars
by Miss Scarletta
Summary: Post Breaking Dawn. Renessmee Cullen doesn't remember how to smile. Was she always so sad? She couldn't stay like this forever. Things had to change. High school seems like a good starting point. But how will she cope without her friend Jacob Black?
1. Etched

_**Hey! So I'm new at all this so do forgive my faults. I'm here to practice mostly. Comments welcome, enjoy! :)**_

_**This is set post Breaking Dawn and one of many possible stories that could occur. I hope to write more soon. **_

_**The disclaimer: based on books by Stephenie Meyer.**** I do not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.**_

_**

* * *

****It's RENESSMEE's point of view.**_

**1. Etched**

I jolted upright, instantly awake. There was no gentle drifting from the world of dreams to the one of reality. It just hit me. Like a thunderbolt. Hyperventilating I placed my feet on the floor and stealthily approached the rattling, window of my room. The curtains blew eerily into my face shielding me from the painful conclusion.

He wasn't out there. He was gone.

The wind sent a cold shiver through me. At the sort of heat I radiated this wasn't an easy task. My eyes searched longingly into the forest. I released an almost inaudible whisper.

"Jacob."

The trees murmured back to me. He's not there. I knew he wasn't there. He was never there. A lone tear sailed down my cheek, falling by my bare feet. I had learned not to cry out anymore. I had learned to silence the pain, at least most of it. My father could still hear what I was thinking, what I was always thinking. But he had learned to not ask about it anymore.

* * *

It happened three years ago. The memory etched into the depths of my mind, relived nightly in my dreams. It was the day before my fifth birthday; at my alarming rate of growth, we decided to celebrate my tenth. Alice had planned a fabulous party with all our families and friends, everyone from the Wolves at La Push to my Gran, Renee. Seemingly my life was perfect.

It would have been the first time Renee and I would have met. After years of persuasion, mum had finally relented and given us our first meeting. She spent months coming up with the perfect alibi to explain my age, my intelligence. She had told Renee I had a 'rare form of a special medical condition'. Carlisle, my granddad, had even come up with a suitable name (Werner's Syndrome) so she could satiate her thirst for knowledge with a quick Googling. It didn't matter to me, as long as I got to meet Renee! If there had been a beating heart in my beautiful mother it would have broken down from the stress of the elaborate story we were to weave.

That day, my best friend Jacob came over to tell me he wanted to give me something before the craziness of the party ensued. Jacob was my confidante, my bodyguard and, my partner in crime. He stood, like he always did, semi naked in the kitchen next to the fridge.

"Meet me at the cottage at midnight." He instructed before diving into the fridge.

"Of course, of course!" I grinned manically at him. I started pulling faces at him. He began to choke on his drink. Mission accomplished. As juice came dripping down his nose he flung a wet cloth at me.

"Ness, stop it!" My features assembled to another silly face. He choked and laughed.

"I'm being serious. You're killing me!" He muttered trying to regain composure.

"Sure, sure" I chided. As he prepared to chuck an orange at me the shrill of the phone saved me. It was Alice.

"Nessie?" she inquired impatiently.

"Uh huh" I replied whilst systematically nodding my head.

"Good!"

'Who is it?' Jacob shouted from the kitchen. I ignored him, more curious to why Alice sounded so...confused. She had rang me on my cell, so why was she questioning who answered it.

"Er, just checking you're there and y'know, not sneaking around the house looking for pressies."

"Of course not, what do you take me for?" I cheekily answered.

The fridge door slammed closed.

"Off now, remember, midnight!" Jacob shouted as he slammed the door. Simultaneously, Alice hung up the phone.

That was the last time Jacob and I ever spoke. It was the last time I would ever see him.

An hour passed as I idly sat reading in the cottage. The howling winds distracted my attention momentarily. The sound of the latch on the door caused my ears to prick up. Mum and dad blew into the house like a hurricane. If their manner of entry had not revealed it to me, the fact that my uncles, Emmett, Jasper and Aunts, Alice and Rosalie were encircling me definitely did. The nausea hit me instantly. Something was wrong.

"Renessmee..." my mother said choking up. She never used my full name. The intensity of their faces gnawed at my heart. I couldn't breath.

"Mum?" I whispered scared. Her golden eyes locked into my fathers. He embraced her soothingly stroking her dark hair.

"They're coming..." He sighed, pained. "The Volturi."

Even as a little girl I had known, the Volturi had never truly got over their 'defeat'. They had never truly let us go. They had never given up. And like all governments, underground or over, they only 'appeared' to be playing by the rules. They had come back, back to claim what they had not first time round. They had come for my father, my aunt, my family...for me.

The decision had been instant. It was smart of them. They were working on our weaknesses. The Volutri had been in Portland when they had suddenly changed their course and headed to Forks. We had no time. They would be here in less than an hour.

Our options were few, and flawed. We could flee but in truth there was no corner on earth we could hide from the Volturi. Besides my uncles would never cower; they refused to live in hiding. The only other alternative – we would face them, and if it meant a fight, so be it. For now our slim hopes rested on Esme and Carlisle returning from their hunt before the Volutri arrived. Carlisle was our diplomat, our negotiator. If we did have to face the Volturi, he was our best chance of survival.

The atmosphere in the cottage was agonizing. Alice's face was contorted into a vision of pain. Her mind replete with flooding images. She muttered frantically to herself. Jasper held her in his arms desperately trying to comfort her. Rosalie stared glassily into the distance with Emmett's body curled protectively around her, snarls issuing forth from his gut. We felt so hopeless. My mother talked a hundred miles an hour at my father. He kept looking over at me, his eyes tormented. I knew I wasn't being told the whole story.

My head sunk into my hands. Rosalie crept over to me and placed a cool arm across my back. Gently she whispered in my ears.

"Ness, we'll be ok. We'll stand together. Like always."

The tears welling up blurred my vision. I hid my face in her hair. I felt so sick. I didn't know what to do. My head was spinning. Rosalie picked me up and carried me to my room. Sitting beside me with her back up against the wall she lay her hand on my back. She tried to calm me, to placate my worries. My pillow grew damp from the tears as visions raced through my mind.

Suddenly piercing screams shrieked through the house, bouncing off the walls and obliterating in my ears. It was Alice and my father. Rosalie and I jumped to our feet. We ran in to find Alice and my father both on the floor, with the others circled around them. Alice gasped.

"Carlisle...Esme...the wolves..." Her last word drifted into silence. I couldn't even be sure it's what I really heard.

Alice appeared to be paralysed She couldn't move. Her eyes were fixed blankly onto the wall. My father crouched over her, half in protection, half in desperation. There was a silence. It could have been an eternity. Finally it was broken.

"Her visions, they came so fast. She couldn't see everyone." His voice was muffled. "They have Esme and Carlisle...and...and the wolves. They didn't see it coming".

My mother tensed. She was concentrating on creating a strong shield. I gripped her body tightly, somehow hoping I could apportion my strength to her. The faintest sounds of footsteps echoed through the trees. Moments later I heard the malefic voice. It sent anger coursing threw my veins.

"My friends...we should speak. I have a proposal for you..." It was Aro.

Emmett and Jasper rose, poised for the fight. Snarls ripped through their bodies.

"Come on, what the fuck we waiting for?" Emmett spat out whilst clenching his fists "We can't cower here in shame. Carlisle. Esme. That's our family out there!"

Jasper nodded in agreement. His unwavering anger emanated from his body causing adrenaline to surge in all of us. My father stood up silently and raised his hand.

"No." My mothers eyes looked pleadingly.

"Edward, we must..." His expression silenced her.

"No" He repeated firmly. "He wants Alice. He wants me. He wants you. And...and..."

"Me" I whispered. My mother wrapped her arms around me and kissed my forehead.

"Never!" She snarled. "Never. Not my baby!"

My father walked over and cradled the two of us. Kissing our heads, he whispered.

"I love you."

With that my father strode out the door flanked by his brothers. My mother, sobbing silently, stood in front of me, casting her shield out whilst Rosalie sat by Alice stroking her head.

"Aaahhh" Aro began. "so you are interested in my proposal?"

The exchange was brief, in hushed tones. I couldn't make out the exact words. My heart thumped like a battering ram against the castle walls. Thug, Thud Thud. I winced as I heard the terms. The four of us for Esme and Carlisle. Although I couldn't make out the exact words, the outrage from our side was unmistakable. The terms were redefined. I could make out the words 'young one' for the 'two old'. I froze. Unable to think, to feel. Paralysed by the fear. He meant me.

A snarl ripped through the woods. Shouts, scream and shrieks reverberated in my eardrums. My vision was obscured by the tears. My heart panicked by the shock. I stood exasperated by my inability to function more efficiently. A smash against the door caused Rosalie, my mother and I to turn our heads. My eyes adjusted to the scene just in time to see myself and Alice thrust on the back of a massive wolf. It ran out the cottage, far from the battle zone at unprecedented speeds. I could tell by the colour and the scent who it was. Leah.

Minutes into our journey, our path became blocked by two blood thirsty vampires, one taller than the other. My heart stopped. Leah screeched to a stop causing Alice and I to tumble into a heap meters away from the ensuing battle. Quietly I tired to shuffle in the deep black of the forest. I could see the bright vermilion eyes of the vampires dancing around Leah. I wanted to scream. I curled my body round Alice hoping she would wake. Her eyes flicked like she was watching something. Alice was transfixed by her visions. She couldn't break free. I shook her gently, than more forcefully. What was she doing!

The black night influenced my vision. My head lifted to see Leah's silhouette smack one of the vampires, sending him flying into a tree causing branches to snap. Behind her the other vampire, a female, launched onto her back biting into her neck. Leah ran backwards, crushing her opponent against a rock. Being presently engaged, Leah hadn't seen the taller vampire of the two running towards her. I screamed stopping the vampire in his tracks. His head turned, his murderous eyes fixed on me. What had I done? I paced backwards. My strength, my prowess was nothing compared to this full vampire. He crouched, ready to pounce, when something crept behind him and in one swift motion floored him. It was Alice. My heart danced before returning to the more typical rhythmic race.

I was no coward but I knew that I couldn't defeat these two soldiers of the Volturi so I kept out of the way. It was the only thing I could do to assist my family. Alice and Leah continued to fight but it didn't last long. Alice was no match with her gift. Her ability to second guess every move made the fight like a bloody, murderous pantomime. Leah's speed was also a gift for her. She chased the female vampire weaving in and out of the trees until she was forced to the ground under Leah's paws. The snapping sound made my stomach turn. I didn't have to guess what happened. This battle was over. Leah piled the remnants of the two vampires together whilst Alice stoked the fires. The smell of the smoke burned my nostrils.

There was no time to watch the burning stones. Leah ran and ran until the battle cries were no longer audible. She stopped at the hillside, exhausted. Alice, Leah, still in wolf form, and I turned to watch the thick smoke camouflaging the night sky. To my surprise there were fires everywhere, not just in the woods but towards La Push. There even seemed to be some in Forks. It couldn't be true. Had the carnage really been so widespread? Engulfed in grief I couldn't speak. No one could. Alice just held me, her face tortured. There were so many questions I needed answering but I knew now wasn't the time. The war still raged on, there weren't any answers yet. Devastated by the unknown, tears streamed down my face. Alice cuddled me tighter. Leah hovered in the background, waiting to hear news from the pack. I cried till I fell asleep.

I awoke to see the rising sun battle with the grey clouds. For a few seconds I was just confused. Then I remembered. The pain of the cold exacerbated the expectant horror of what I guessed had happened to my family. Alice was beside me, hand on my knee. She turned to face me and released a small smile.

* * *

"Nessie. Nessie. You're awake. I love you so much. So so much." She blubbed before springing from her seat into a full embrace. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and waited for the bad news. Her face crinkled as she tried to read my expression.

"Oh." She began. "The explanation." I sat, braced, anticipating the death count. She smiled warmly at me. I grew distressed and impatient. She read my anxiety and continued. "Carlisle, Esme are ok. Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella, Jasper, all ok. Me and you. We're good. Charlie's good! We're all good Nessie! Everyone survived!" My expression morphed from morose to surprise.

"Everyone?" I implored quizzically.

"Yes!" She nodded frantically. "With injuries, sure but...but we're all alive!" A sudden wave of energy pulsed through me causing me to leap into the air. My family were alive! I grinned wildly at her.

"An Jake...and the wolves?" I asked already feeling they were ok.

"Er, well I don't know. I can't see them" She said matter of factly.

"You can't see them?" I asked rhetorically. "So you don't know if Jakes ok?"

"No...I don't."

"Well, did Leah not say?" I asked. Alice shook her head.

"No...no...she left a while ago...she hasn't returned yet. I mean we heard wolf howls..." Her face changed from one of relief to one of grief. "I can't see..."

I stared towards La Push. The smoke still rose. The time was indeterminate as I tried to make out the houses of those I loved. My searching heart despaired as I begged,

"Are the wolves ok? Is Jacob ok?"

"No, he's not." Leah replied.

It was the last thing I heard.

* * *

Aro had never come to hurt us, or even claim us. He had been a diversion. The real fight had been between Caius, his army, and the Wolves at La Push, The Volturi's decision had been so sudden that neither the Wolves or the Vampires, my families, had time to prepare. Alice had been unable to see the Wolves. We couldn't even warn them. Her head had been crammed full to bursting with their ever changing minds, she had been powerless to help. Her guilt was still abundant. Even now. But at the time she had to choose the best outcome for our safety, for the safety of all our families.

The Wolves had been ambushed in the woods surrounding La Push and on the shores of first beach. Again, fortunately, the death count had been zero. This was of some consolation but there had still been many injuries some very serious. Sam and Paul had faired the worst, both spending the following months in Carlisle's home made hospital. They had managed to defend their home so for them it had been worth it.

Aro, Caius and a handful of others had left before the fight had started. No doubt to claim their innocence when the word of the fight had spread. They were not stupid. The situation had been so carefully orchestrated that neither their thoughts or actions could have been linked back to them, at least not incriminatingly. But we knew.

The only person unaccounted for was my best friend, Jacob Black.

* * *

_**Any thoughts?**_

* * *


	2. Conventional

_**Finally, I got it out! Yay, I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner. Hope you enjoy it. Again, Comments welcome!  
**_

_****_

The disclaimer: based on books by Stephenie Meyer. I do not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

**2. Conventional**

The rising sun seeped through the blinds, the rays resting on my face. The delicate songs of birds filled my ears. I could hear the stream babbling in the woods. I lay there still and quiet. I had been awake for a while. A long while. It was the nightmares. Again.

I wrapped my white satin night gown over my pale shoulders and headed to the kitchen where my parents sat round the old oak table. My mind was empty. Purposefully. It hadn't taken me years to master the ability, but now, I was fully able to blank out thoughts for moments at a time. Though he never mentioned it, I was fairly sure it caused my father a certain amount of annoyance, and me, just the faintest hint of joy.

"Morning sleepy head!" My mother said before she jumped out her seat and coiled her arms around me in a loving embrace.

"We've got your favourite breakfast today." My father pointed to his pan and then to the table. "Eggs, sunny side up, and a glass of blood." He smiled at me and I reciprocated. It was, most definitely, my favourite breakfast. I took a sip from the glass. I loved the way it felt down my throat, satiating hunger in an instant. As I sat, contently gorging myself, I noticed my mother staring at me. She was unnaturally fidgety and very hesitant. I sensed an uncomfortable conversation brewing. Eventually she spoke.

"Are you sure you want this?" I stopped mid chew.

"Mmu schure aahh wan waa?" I mumbled incoherently. She sighed, oblivious to my answer. My mother gently caressed my hand.

"You've been through so much sweetie. I, I just don't know if you _need _to do this? What with Alice, Jasper away and you know..._what happened_..." I swallowed hard. "...and...well, you'd have to lie to your friends...all the time, it will be so exhausting. Not forgetting you're already smarter than well, everyone...except maybe Carlisle...Do you _really _want this? Do you _really_ want to go to high school?"

Before I could answer my father had slided up to her, placing a placating hand on her back.

"She needs this..." he said with conviction in his voice. "Nessie needs to experience the normal, _human_, life. The normal things, friends, exams, proms..._We_ all had our chances, however short they might have been. We can't deny her a life. She deserves this..."

With a look of resignation on her face, my mother looked into my fathers eyes.

"But, Edward, after everything she's been through..."

"Precisely." My father said calmly. "That's exactly _why_ she needs this. Nessie needs a break." His voice quietened to a whisper. "She needs to think about...something else."

I masked my feelings of guilt under a tentative smile.

"Besides..." My father continued. "Charlie's here to take her to school."

I pulled on the frayed grey sleeves of my cardigan and took a deep breath. Nervously I twisted a lock of my auburn hair around my fingers. I peered out the window of my mum's old truck, watching the kids stream through the newly rebuilt Forks High school. The feeling in the pit of stomach suggested this hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"Well, Ness..." Charlie began. "...this is it, what you wanted. Something ...a little bit more _conventional_." His voice seemed to hover over the last few words as I began deliberating the situation.

Before the._.. incident, _it had been so different. Back then it had been my sole wish to satisfy my curious mind and experience the normal life. I had wanted to go to school. Since I was born I had known that I was different to everyone else, unique. I had seen things that would make the world spin off it's axis and plunge into a black hole. My family were vampires, and my best friends, werewolves! It was hardly the _conventional_ life. Not to mention that though I physically appeared sixteen, I had only come into existence eight years ago.

Well, nearly sixteen. My birthday was in a week.

The idea had caused great debate amongst my family. My mother in particular had felt great unease at the plan, conjecturing, that it would be too difficult to consistently maintain a water tight alibi of my life. But I had my ways. Having the whole family wrapped around my finger meant it took an innocent look and a cute smile to get me what I wanted. Finally I was granted my wish. The plan was in motion. Begrudgingly, but most definitely in motion. It was to be my 'tenth' birthday present. I couldn't have been more excited.

Then the school _mysteriously_ burnt down. Well, it was a mystery for them, the _conventionals_. But not for me.

As the last throught passed through my mind, I shuddered. My hand pulled the door release and I slid out the car, managing to kiss my grandpas cheek before I got out. I smoothed my hair down and pulled my sleeves over my fingers. I was a vampire-human half breed with acute hearing/vision and super strength. I could do this. I could walk through the school gates. My body tensed. I shot a glance back to the truck, hoping Charlie would give me an encouraging push. No such luck. He was already gone. The parking space was empty. I bit down hard on my lip. I was going to do this. I bargained with myself - no more pitiful Renessmee. It was time for the real Renessmee Cullen. I clutched tightly to the bracelet my best friend had once given my mother. I rubbed the wooden wolf charm with my thumb and braced myself.

Through the gates I sighed a breath of relief. I had done it. It felt good. Good until I felt all eyes turn to stare at me. My acute hearing picked up the school ground mutterings. There were whispers of confusion, but mostly of admiration. As hard as I tried I couldn't prevent a small smile curl around the corner of my lips. This was good. I continued walking, head up and my eyes forward. My periphery vision worked over time, scanning the faces of my soon to be school mates. I joined the queue of snaking students waiting to confirm their registration.

Time passed slowly. I entertained myself by watching the students on the school grounds. Girls huddled together in groups gossiping animatedly, whilst groups of boys danced around them excitedly, shouting and mocking each other. This was it. What I'd hoped for. Life as a conventional human being. This was my first day in a shiny new school. Actually, it was everyone's first day but unlike me, the students here never had to live under a web of delicately woven stories. They lived more simple lives. One's where they weren't afraid to tell you who they were, who their parents were. Lives where they didn't have to fear an ancient ruling clan of Vampires, hell-bent on destroying everything that was close to you. I stopped my thoughts. I really had to stop being so dramatic.

"Name?" The impatience in the woman's voice caught me off guard. I hadn't even realised I'd reached the front of the queue.

"Uh. Nessie." Her eyes showed signs of irritation. "No,wait Renessmee."

"Ren...ess...mee? Oooohh kay." She elongated the words so it sounded ridiculous. "and your last name?"

"Cullen" She sat up in her seat instantly, and eyed me closely. Her pen was held against her pink glossed lips. She looked contemplatively at me.

"You're a...a Cullen?" She asked intrigued.

"Yes Miss" I replied obediently

"Yes, Miss Mallory!." she corrected before giving me a weak fake, smile. "Hmm, now off you go Ren...ess....mee!"

An introductory pack was thrust into my hands as she gave me a fake, superior smile. For a few second I stood still, amazed by her attitude. This was my very first experience of school life; I didn't want it to be negative. I turned to her annoyed at the rude reception, my mouth open ready to speak. Suddenly a wind gushed between us and her papers were blown up into the grey morning sky. Miss Mallory jumped into the air, clamouring after the flying paper. Her face contorted into one of panic and extreme annoyance. The gust of wind caused her skirt to fly up, revealing her bright pink underpants. All the students turned to catch this entertaining vision. They roared with laughter and shameful though it was, I couldn't resist chuckling along.

After registration we were all ushered into the gymnasium for a 'An Official Forks high School Welcome'. The school principal, Mr Brown, a balding tubby man gave a long speech about 'the virtues of studying hard' and 'school spirit'. He also broached the subject of the 'rebirth' of the school after 'mindless thugs had ravaged this respected pillar of learning, in an inhumane, mindlessly violent burning... '

I switched off. I'd heard it so many times. And none of it was true. The school had never burnt down because vandals had set it on fire. It had been the scene of a frenzied confrontation between a couple of newborns and some dear friends of mine. Seth Clearwater and Quil Ateara. The neighbouring residents had heard strange noises and alerted the police. My Grandpa, chief Swan, had gone to investigate. On hearing the despicable Volutri were in town, Jacob had ordered Seth and Quil to watch over Charlie, inevitably a linchpin in the Volutri's sick plans. Fortunately, Charlie had managed to escape unscathed and, bizarrely mostly clueless about what was r_eally _going on. In truth though, he tried most resolutely to be clueless. He wasn't dumb. He just didn't want to acknowledge the supernatural truth. For him, ignorance was, most definitely, bliss.

The 'Welcoming' didn't seem like it was going to end. Mr Brown was so monotonously dull I felt he might lull me into a coma. I begged for some distraction. My eyes passed aimlessly among the students and then quite abruptly stopped. In the corner, next to the exit, stood three boys. Their expressions were disinterested. The one closest to the exit seemed short but muscular, his hair was dark and cropped closed to his head. The boy next to him seemed much taller and thinner in comparison. His jeans were two times too big for him. The final boy, had ash blonde hair, down to his nose, ruffled. I couldn't see him clearly. I tried for a better angle when all the students began to get up. The Welcoming had finished.

My first lesson was in room 108. It was English Lit. I followed the map I'd mentally secured in my head. Left here, right there, down the long corridor with windows either side that made me feel like I was in an aquarium. I stopped in front of the door awash with an almost violent nervousness. I considered whether I really wanted to do this. A hand grabbed me. I turned round. A girl stood with tousled dark hair and a crazy, beaming grin. It was Erika Reagan.

Erika had moved here in the summer when her father had taken a job working with Charlie at the police station. More recently her mother had taken a job as the school's part time receptionist. Reagan, as she preferred to be called, was anti-establishment, an interesting quality when considering her fathers job. Her sense of humour was unparalleled. Unfortunately, I had not experienced it as much as I liked, as had she spent most of the summer in Hawaii.

"Nessie! I'm super stoked to see you. Everyone's so damn stiff here. How are things? How was your summer?" I felt joyed at hearing her, very typical, enthusiastic tone It relaxed my apprehensive heart.

As I prepared to answer her questions three girls thrust ahead smirking. Their entry seemed to command presence. The girl in front was average height with streaky white blonde hair, strangely orange skin and unnaturally white teeth. She was followed by a gangly girl with braces and jet black hair. The last girl sported light brown hair, almost mousy coloured. Her face was, like the others were covered in make-up. I examined their faces wondering if I'd ever seen them before.

"Ooohh, involved much!" Reagan joked. "Do you know them?" My confused expression answered the question. "You probably don't wanna know them! The blonde was hassling my mum earlier. She's called Makenzie. California girl dontcha know? Transferred recently. Blah Blah. The other one is Cara Richmond. But I guess you know her already, what with her being the richest gal in town. And the mousy thing there Paige. Nothing remarkable. Bit of a sheep. Her mum always calls the station to complain about noisy neighbours and lost cats." She mockingly gestured a yawn. As they walked past Makenzie shot a less than favourable look in our direction. My head turned to assess Reagan's expression. She was completely unfazed.

Regan and I sat together, second row from the front. I was excited. This was a completely new experience for me. This was normal. Complete normality. The teacher, Miss Campbell went through the texts we'd be working on this semester. Hemmingway, cool. My former literature teacher, Mrs Isabella Cullen, had already taken me through this, so I couldn't imagine it being too hard. Everyone groaned. Did no one like Hemmingway? I looked over at Reagan. She was slumped on the table, bored.

My eyes surveyed the sea of faces around me. Some were familiar such as that of Donny Pritchard, Forks village idiot in waiting. He was famed for his crack brained schemes that never seemed to work. He was staring at the girl on the desk in front. My ears strained towards him as his whispers revealed his will to pull her bra strap. I also recognised Lizzy Faulkner, her straight hair pushed back with a headband. She sat perfectly straight, very austere.

My random musings were eventually interrupted by Reagan informing me it was lunch time.

We followed the throng of students through to the cafeteria. The bored faces I'd witnessed during the Welcoming and class were suddenly so animated. It puzzled me a little but it seemed people didn't really like school. Lunch was a lively affair. The students had all assembled round the identical plastic grey tables. The screech of chairs ricochetted off the walls. Sounds of chatter illuminated the room. The smell of pizza lingered in the air. Reagan and I sat with a couple friends she had made, Mia Niven and Evelyn Williams. Their story was an adorable one, one which made me long for something, for someone. There mothers had given birth to them both, on the same day, in the same hospital. I listened with increasing sadness in my heart. It reminded me of my best friend. I wanted to launch into stories about me and my best friend but my internal monologue took over. This was the new Renessmee. And I had done well so far. I needed to stay strong.

Not feeling very hungry, I made my excuses to leave lunch early so I could call my parents. They had called my cell twice already, no doubt eager to know how my first day at school had gone. I walked through the thick wooden panelled double doors and began dialling. Engrossed in my actions I failed to notice the scene around me.

_Thwack! _

My phone dropped to the floor. Along with the contents of my bag, and books I hadn't realised I was carrying. I wasn't hurt, just surprised. It would take quite a knock to floor me.

"Sorry!" I muttered instinctively. I grabbed the phone off the floor, realising I had already got through to my mother.

"Nessie, whats going on? Is everything ok?" my mother asked, voice full of worry.

"Yeah, yeah..." I lifted my head.

For a split second everything around me was drowned out. I couldn't hear anything. My gaze was met with the most magnificent turquoise eyes. I stopped to stare before very uncharacteristically, I lost my balance and dropped my phone. Again. I felt my cheeks redden. Suddenly, I felt very self concious. It was a feeling I had never felt before. A few years ago it would have been impossible for me to even recognise the feeling.

He was stunning. He stood inches over me, with pale skin and a cute dimpled smile. His face was familiar. It was him. One of the three disinterested guys from the gym hall. I had seen him earlier. Although it was quite evident to me...I hadn't actually_ seen _him till now.

I tried to assemble some words together when I realised my mother was still on the phone.

"Mum, I'll call you back." I continued to stare at him, my mouth was very slightly open and my mind fully aware that this moment was lasting too long for it to be comfortable. Had I ever been this awkward in my life? My breathing became unsteady. I mentally tried to reason with myself, but I was blank. Panic began to set in as I realised I wasn't saying anything, that the silence was suffocating.

"Are you ok?" He had an English accent. My heart beat increased as butterflies errupted excitedly in my stomach. His sweet voice continued "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm so sorry. My names Ja..It's Josh. You?"

"Josh." His face creased with confusion. I couldn't believe I was being so incoherrent. This was not typical of me. I was used to being an articulate, well spoken young woman. I tripped over my tongue as I tried to correct myself.

"Ness, Ness I mean Nessie. My names Nessie. I'm the monster. I mean I'm like the monster. No wait, _my name_ is like the monster. Loch Ness?." I was getting aggitated by my own foolishness but I felt some relief to get my name out. Although I presumed, in his mind he kind of wished he hadn't asked in the first place. I stood, temporarily mortified by my very abrupt change in behaviour. I was not used to feeling this way. I was not used to feeling self concious, or unsure. What was happening?This was not the Renessmee Cullen I had been aiming to resurrect.

Josh smiled and held his hand out. His warm fingers delicately curled around mine.

"I'm charmed to meet you"

My heart beat like a hummingbird. This felt like the beginning...

* * *


	3. Cheerleading

_**Finally, I got it out! Yay, I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner. Hope you enjoy it. Again, Comments welcome!  
**_

_****_

The disclaimer: based on books by Stephenie Meyer. I do not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator.

* * *

**2. Conventional**

The rising sun seeped through the blinds, the rays resting on my face. The delicate songs of birds filled my ears. I could hear the stream babbling in the woods. I lay there still and quiet. I had been awake for a while. A long while. It was the nightmares. Again.

I wrapped my white satin night gown over my pale shoulders and headed to the kitchen where my parents sat round the old oak table. My mind was empty. Purposefully. It hadn't taken me years to master the ability, but now, I was fully able to blank out thoughts for moments at a time. Though he never mentioned it, I was fairly sure it caused my father a certain amount of annoyance, and me, just the faintest hint of joy.

"Morning sleepy head!" My mother said before she jumped out her seat and coiled her arms around me in a loving embrace.

"We've got your favourite breakfast today." My father pointed to his pan and then to the table. "Eggs, sunny side up, and a glass of blood." He smiled at me and I reciprocated. It was, most definitely, my favourite breakfast. I took a sip from the glass. I loved the way it felt down my throat, satiating hunger in an instant. As I sat, contently gorging myself, I noticed my mother staring at me. She was unnaturally fidgety and very hesitant. I sensed an uncomfortable conversation brewing. Eventually she spoke.

"Are you sure you want this?" I stopped mid chew.

"Mmu schure aahh wan waa?" I mumbled incoherently. She sighed, oblivious to my answer. My mother gently caressed my hand.

"You've been through so much sweetie. I, I just don't know if you _need _to do this? What with Alice, Jasper away and you know..._what happened_..." I swallowed hard. "...and...well, you'd have to lie to your friends...all the time, it will be so exhausting. Not forgetting you're already smarter than well, everyone...except maybe Carlisle...Do you _really _want this? Do you _really_ want to go to high school?"

Before I could answer my father had slided up to her, placing a placating hand on her back.

"She needs this..." he said with conviction in his voice. "Nessie needs to experience the normal, _human_, life. The normal things, friends, exams, proms..._We_ all had our chances, however short they might have been. We can't deny her a life. She deserves this..."

With a look of resignation on her face, my mother looked into my fathers eyes.

"But, Edward, after everything she's been through..."

"Precisely." My father said calmly. "That's exactly _why_ she needs this. Nessie needs a break." His voice quietened to a whisper. "She needs to think about...something else."

I masked my feelings of guilt under a tentative smile.

"Besides..." My father continued. "Charlie's here to take her to school."

I pulled on the frayed grey sleeves of my cardigan and took a deep breath. Nervously I twisted a lock of my auburn hair around my fingers. I peered out the window of my mum's old truck, watching the kids stream through the newly rebuilt Forks High school. The feeling in the pit of stomach suggested this hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"Well, Ness..." Charlie began. "...this is it, what you wanted. Something ...a little bit more _conventional_." His voice seemed to hover over the last few words as I began deliberating the situation.

Before the._.. incident, _it had been so different. Back then it had been my sole wish to satisfy my curious mind and experience the normal life. I had wanted to go to school. Since I was born I had known that I was different to everyone else, unique. I had seen things that would make the world spin off it's axis and plunge into a black hole. My family were vampires, and my best friends, werewolves! It was hardly the _conventional_ life. Not to mention that though I physically appeared sixteen, I had only come into existence eight years ago.

Well, nearly sixteen. My birthday was in a week.

The idea had caused great debate amongst my family. My mother in particular had felt great unease at the plan, conjecturing, that it would be too difficult to consistently maintain a water tight alibi of my life. But I had my ways. Having the whole family wrapped around my finger meant it took an innocent look and a cute smile to get me what I wanted. Finally I was granted my wish. The plan was in motion. Begrudgingly, but most definitely in motion. It was to be my 'tenth' birthday present. I couldn't have been more excited.

Then the school _mysteriously_ burnt down. Well, it was a mystery for them, the _conventionals_. But not for me.

As the last throught passed through my mind, I shuddered. My hand pulled the door release and I slid out the car, managing to kiss my grandpas cheek before I got out. I smoothed my hair down and pulled my sleeves over my fingers. I was a vampire-human half breed with acute hearing/vision and super strength. I could do this. I could walk through the school gates. My body tensed. I shot a glance back to the truck, hoping Charlie would give me an encouraging push. No such luck. He was already gone. The parking space was empty. I bit down hard on my lip. I was going to do this. I bargained with myself - no more pitiful Renessmee. It was time for the real Renessmee Cullen. I clutched tightly to the bracelet my best friend had once given my mother. I rubbed the wooden wolf charm with my thumb and braced myself.

Through the gates I sighed a breath of relief. I had done it. It felt good. Good until I felt all eyes turn to stare at me. My acute hearing picked up the school ground mutterings. There were whispers of confusion, but mostly of admiration. As hard as I tried I couldn't prevent a small smile curl around the corner of my lips. This was good. I continued walking, head up and my eyes forward. My periphery vision worked over time, scanning the faces of my soon to be school mates. I joined the queue of snaking students waiting to confirm their registration.

Time passed slowly. I entertained myself by watching the students on the school grounds. Girls huddled together in groups gossiping animatedly, whilst groups of boys danced around them excitedly, shouting and mocking each other. This was it. What I'd hoped for. Life as a conventional human being. This was my first day in a shiny new school. Actually, it was everyone's first day but unlike me, the students here never had to live under a web of delicately woven stories. They lived more simple lives. One's where they weren't afraid to tell you who they were, who their parents were. Lives where they didn't have to fear an ancient ruling clan of Vampires, hell-bent on destroying everything that was close to you. I stopped my thoughts. I really had to stop being so dramatic.

"Name?" The impatience in the woman's voice caught me off guard. I hadn't even realised I'd reached the front of the queue.

"Uh. Nessie." Her eyes showed signs of irritation. "No,wait Renessmee."

"Ren...ess...mee? Oooohh kay." She elongated the words so it sounded ridiculous. "and your last name?"

"Cullen" She sat up in her seat instantly, and eyed me closely. Her pen was held against her pink glossed lips. She looked contemplatively at me.

"You're a...a Cullen?" She asked intrigued.

"Yes Miss" I replied obediently

"Yes, Miss Mallory!." she corrected before giving me a weak fake, smile. "Hmm, now off you go Ren...ess....mee!"

An introductory pack was thrust into my hands as she gave me a fake, superior smile. For a few second I stood still, amazed by her attitude. This was my very first experience of school life; I didn't want it to be negative. I turned to her annoyed at the rude reception, my mouth open ready to speak. Suddenly a wind gushed between us and her papers were blown up into the grey morning sky. Miss Mallory jumped into the air, clamouring after the flying paper. Her face contorted into one of panic and extreme annoyance. The gust of wind caused her skirt to fly up, revealing her bright pink underpants. All the students turned to catch this entertaining vision. They roared with laughter and shameful though it was, I couldn't resist chuckling along.

After registration we were all ushered into the gymnasium for a 'An Official Forks high School Welcome'. The school principal, Mr Brown, a balding tubby man gave a long speech about 'the virtues of studying hard' and 'school spirit'. He also broached the subject of the 'rebirth' of the school after 'mindless thugs had ravaged this respected pillar of learning, in an inhumane, mindlessly violent burning... '

I switched off. I'd heard it so many times. And none of it was true. The school had never burnt down because vandals had set it on fire. It had been the scene of a frenzied confrontation between a couple of newborns and some dear friends of mine. Seth Clearwater and Quil Ateara. The neighbouring residents had heard strange noises and alerted the police. My Grandpa, chief Swan, had gone to investigate. On hearing the despicable Volutri were in town, Jacob had ordered Seth and Quil to watch over Charlie, inevitably a linchpin in the Volutri's sick plans. Fortunately, Charlie had managed to escape unscathed and, bizarrely mostly clueless about what was r_eally _going on. In truth though, he tried most resolutely to be clueless. He wasn't dumb. He just didn't want to acknowledge the supernatural truth. For him, ignorance was, most definitely, bliss.

The 'Welcoming' didn't seem like it was going to end. Mr Brown was so monotonously dull I felt he might lull me into a coma. I begged for some distraction. My eyes passed aimlessly among the students and then quite abruptly stopped. In the corner, next to the exit, stood three boys. Their expressions were disinterested. The one closest to the exit seemed short but muscular, his hair was dark and cropped closed to his head. The boy next to him seemed much taller and thinner in comparison. His jeans were two times too big for him. The final boy, had ash blonde hair, down to his nose, ruffled. I couldn't see him clearly. I tried for a better angle when all the students began to get up. The Welcoming had finished.

My first lesson was in room 108. It was English Lit. I followed the map I'd mentally secured in my head. Left here, right there, down the long corridor with windows either side that made me feel like I was in an aquarium. I stopped in front of the door awash with an almost violent nervousness. I considered whether I really wanted to do this. A hand grabbed me. I turned round. A girl stood with tousled dark hair and a crazy, beaming grin. It was Erika Reagan.

Erika had moved here in the summer when her father had taken a job working with Charlie at the police station. More recently her mother had taken a job as the school's part time receptionist. Reagan, as she preferred to be called, was anti-establishment, an interesting quality when considering her fathers job. Her sense of humour was unparalleled. Unfortunately, I had not experienced it as much as I liked, as had she spent most of the summer in Hawaii.

"Nessie! I'm super stoked to see you. Everyone's so damn stiff here. How are things? How was your summer?" I felt joyed at hearing her, very typical, enthusiastic tone It relaxed my apprehensive heart.

As I prepared to answer her questions three girls thrust ahead smirking. Their entry seemed to command presence. The girl in front was average height with streaky white blonde hair, strangely orange skin and unnaturally white teeth. She was followed by a gangly girl with braces and jet black hair. The last girl sported light brown hair, almost mousy coloured. Her face was, like the others were covered in make-up. I examined their faces wondering if I'd ever seen them before.

"Ooohh, involved much!" Reagan joked. "Do you know them?" My confused expression answered the question. "You probably don't wanna know them! The blonde was hassling my mum earlier. She's called Makenzie. California girl dontcha know? Transferred recently. Blah Blah. The other one is Cara Richmond. But I guess you know her already, what with her being the richest gal in town. And the mousy thing there Paige. Nothing remarkable. Bit of a sheep. Her mum always calls the station to complain about noisy neighbours and lost cats." She mockingly gestured a yawn. As they walked past Makenzie shot a less than favourable look in our direction. My head turned to assess Reagan's expression. She was completely unfazed.

Regan and I sat together, second row from the front. I was excited. This was a completely new experience for me. This was normal. Complete normality. The teacher, Miss Campbell went through the texts we'd be working on this semester. Hemmingway, cool. My former literature teacher, Mrs Isabella Cullen, had already taken me through this, so I couldn't imagine it being too hard. Everyone groaned. Did no one like Hemmingway? I looked over at Reagan. She was slumped on the table, bored.

My eyes surveyed the sea of faces around me. Some were familiar such as that of Donny Pritchard, Forks village idiot in waiting. He was famed for his crack brained schemes that never seemed to work. He was staring at the girl on the desk in front. My ears strained towards him as his whispers revealed his will to pull her bra strap. I also recognised Lizzy Faulkner, her straight hair pushed back with a headband. She sat perfectly straight, very austere.

My random musings were eventually interrupted by Reagan informing me it was lunch time.

We followed the throng of students through to the cafeteria. The bored faces I'd witnessed during the Welcoming and class were suddenly so animated. It puzzled me a little but it seemed people didn't really like school. Lunch was a lively affair. The students had all assembled round the identical plastic grey tables. The screech of chairs ricochetted off the walls. Sounds of chatter illuminated the room. The smell of pizza lingered in the air. Reagan and I sat with a couple friends she had made, Mia Niven and Evelyn Williams. Their story was an adorable one, one which made me long for something, for someone. There mothers had given birth to them both, on the same day, in the same hospital. I listened with increasing sadness in my heart. It reminded me of my best friend. I wanted to launch into stories about me and my best friend but my internal monologue took over. This was the new Renessmee. And I had done well so far. I needed to stay strong.

Not feeling very hungry, I made my excuses to leave lunch early so I could call my parents. They had called my cell twice already, no doubt eager to know how my first day at school had gone. I walked through the thick wooden panelled double doors and began dialling. Engrossed in my actions I failed to notice the scene around me.

_Thwack! _

My phone dropped to the floor. Along with the contents of my bag, and books I hadn't realised I was carrying. I wasn't hurt, just surprised. It would take quite a knock to floor me.

"Sorry!" I muttered instinctively. I grabbed the phone off the floor, realising I had already got through to my mother.

"Nessie, whats going on? Is everything ok?" my mother asked, voice full of worry.

"Yeah, yeah..." I lifted my head.

For a split second everything around me was drowned out. I couldn't hear anything. My gaze was met with the most magnificent turquoise eyes. I stopped to stare before very uncharacteristically, I lost my balance and dropped my phone. Again. I felt my cheeks redden. Suddenly, I felt very self concious. It was a feeling I had never felt before. A few years ago it would have been impossible for me to even recognise the feeling.

He was stunning. He stood inches over me, with pale skin and a cute dimpled smile. His face was familiar. It was him. One of the three disinterested guys from the gym hall. I had seen him earlier. Although it was quite evident to me...I hadn't actually_ seen _him till now.

I tried to assemble some words together when I realised my mother was still on the phone.

"Mum, I'll call you back." I continued to stare at him, my mouth was very slightly open and my mind fully aware that this moment was lasting too long for it to be comfortable. Had I ever been this awkward in my life? My breathing became unsteady. I mentally tried to reason with myself, but I was blank. Panic began to set in as I realised I wasn't saying anything, that the silence was suffocating.

"Are you ok?" He had an English accent. My heart beat increased as butterflies errupted excitedly in my stomach. His sweet voice continued "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm so sorry. My names Ja..It's Josh. You?"

"Josh." His face creased with confusion. I couldn't believe I was being so incoherrent. This was not typical of me. I was used to being an articulate, well spoken young woman. I tripped over my tongue as I tried to correct myself.

"Ness, Ness I mean Nessie. My names Nessie. I'm the monster. I mean I'm like the monster. No wait, _my name_ is like the monster. Loch Ness?." I was getting aggitated by my own foolishness but I felt some relief to get my name out. Although I presumed, in his mind he kind of wished he hadn't asked in the first place. I stood, temporarily mortified by my very abrupt change in behaviour. I was not used to feeling this way. I was not used to feeling self concious, or unsure. What was happening?This was not the Renessmee Cullen I had been aiming to resurrect.

Josh smiled and held his hand out. His warm fingers delicately curled around mine.

"I'm charmed to meet you"

My heart beat like a hummingbird. This felt like the beginning...

* * *

_**Hey, just wanted to let you folk know I haven't forgotten about the story. Just taking some time out to sort some stuff out. I know it's lame. I'm sorry!! But I'll come back with a double whammy of a post...:D**_

* * *


End file.
